MASHUP

good way to sum up 2009 :]

CHRISTMAS

"there is Christmas because of HIM."

He came for us because He LOVED & still continues to LOVE us.




That`s the best present of all :]

BREATHE

space. breathe. & recollect

"..takin` it one day at a time.."

slowly.

FREEDOM!

Officially on Winter Break :]

Looking forward to:
[ ] sleeping zZzzz
[ ] friends coming back from college
[ ] catching up with my dramas :]
[ ] Tuesdays & Thursdays (my work-free days)
[ ] my big coming back 12/28
[ ] Christmas dinner w/ friends :]
[ ] Nikko's party 12/19
[ ] last day at Coach
[ ] New Years!
[ ] Christmas <3
[ ] Las Vegas w/ the girls! 1/9-1/12
[ ] Peace Fellowship retreat 1/15-1/17
[ ] APO MZ retreat @ Tahoe 1/22-1/24 (?)

and more? tehehe. i`m so excited!

DISAPPOINTED

once again.

NEVER

"..never have high hopes because they can only lead to disappointment.."

Sad. My car needs to be fixed quicker. If only I had my car. dang.

OCC`09

Operation Christmas Child 2009

I`m so proud of them :] Good job guys!

FEARLESS

"If that's the way you love
you've got to learn so much
If that's the way you say goodbye

And this is how it ends
And I'm alright within
Never going to see me cry
Cause I've cried

So go on, go on and break my heart
I'll be okay
there's nothing you can do to me
that's ever going to burn me

So go on, go on and leave my love
Out on the street
I'm fearless
Better believe I'm
fearless, fearless

So oh woh oh woh oh...

If this is how it hurts
It couldn't get much worse
If this is how it feels to fall

Then that's the way it is
We live with what we miss
We learn to build another wall
Till it falls

So go on go on and break my heart
I'll be okay
there's nothing you can do to me
that's ever going to burn me

So go on, go on and leave my love
Out on the street
I'm fearless
Better believe I'm
fearless, fearless

So oh woh oh woh...

If it's between love and losing
To never have known the feeling
And I'm still sad we've loved

And if I end up lonely
At least I will be there knowing
I believe in love

Go on, go on break my heart
I'll be okay
I'm fearless
Better believe I'm
fearless, fearless

Go on, go on and break my heart
I'll be okay
there's nothing you can do to me
that's ever going to burn me

So go on, go on and leave my love
Out on the street
I'm fearless
Better believe I'm fearless

So oh woh oh...

So go on and leave my love
Go on and leave my love
Go on and leave my love
Better believe I'm
fearless, fearless
Fearless..."

♥

CHANGE

[A PASSING MOMENT]

“Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go.”

If the time stopped & you had the chance to hold onto everything you could ever hold onto, would you?

I would.

Change doesn`t come easy for most of us & I am one of those people. Change is something I will never get use to, especially since it involves putting yourself in a new environment, whether it be with people or places. I can`t say that change is a bad thing because sometimes it really isn`t; it can be a good thing too. From personal experience, I just can`t get use to the idea of letting go of the people I care most about. I know that letting go is the ultimate thing I can do for someone I love, but like I said, I suck at doing just that. Call me a cry baby or whatever, but I just can`t find the strength to let go. When I let go, it feels like I’m giving up and when it feels like I’m giving up, I lose hope. All I’m trying to say is time moves fast. Sometimes you get so caught up in doing your own things that you don’t actually realize how much time has passed already. For me, I caught on to this actualization yesterday when I was talking to a friend. It’s been three years since we graduated high school and one or two more years till we graduate college. After college, we’ll either continue with more schooling or look for a job, but some of us will go our separate ways in search of fulfilling our goals. In a few years, we might find the “one,” get married & start a family. And after that, we’ll look forward to seeing our own kids grow, graduate and repeat the same cycle in their own way, while we grow old watching time pass & changes take place. I know I make it sound like a fast process, but let’s be honest, time does move fast. Sometimes we’ll have a shorter time frame than others, while some have longer time frames. There’s nothing we can do about that because it’s ultimately in God’s hand and only He knows the “plan.” So then why do you we fight so hard to hold onto some things that we know we might have to let go? What`s the purpose of giving your all into something if you know it might fly away?
Because just maybe, we hope that it or they will come back. Because maybe if we give it our all, if we showered those things we cherished most with our devoted time and energy, then maybe the returning outcome will be worth it. Isn`t that what everyone hopes for?

Change.

Something we`ll never get use to because it’s a heart breaking process that can take so much out of you, but ultimately, it’ll be worth it…Right?

Think about it.

CONGRATS

i`m so proud of all the ASK littles! after all your hard work, dedication & patience, you have finally made it! Congrats on crossing over & becoming a member :] <3 you all!

P.DAD

"and i love you mucho grande like taco bell!"

haha. oh P.Dad. this made me laugh so hard! lols. I feel so loved. haha :]

ESCAPADE

We went down to Santa Clara on Friday night for another midnight escapade :] I went to Dave & Busters for the first time & it was fun! lols. Afterwards we went to this place up the hills to look at the city & at the stars. I saw two shooting stars before we left, but right we were about to leave, we saw this really LONGGG & SLOWW shooting star. It was incredibly amazing :]

All in all, another successful escapade. Thanks Richard for driving & thanks Jan for showing us around.

BECAUSE

"Je vous aimerai de lointain"

because that`s all I can do.

IRONY

[A PASSING MOMENT]

"The irony is that when I fell so hard for you, you didn`t even stumble"

Have you ever had a moment when you felt like you did the stupidest thing & now you regret it? I did. I don`t know how long it`s been, but everyday I wonder why I ever did that. I never thought that I would be the person that I am now & I guess it partially has to do with what happened in the past. I am the person that I am now because I`ve made my fair share of bad mistakes. The thing I always wondered about was what would happen if I didn`t go through with what I did. Would I be feeling this way? It`s funny because I always thought that I was a tough cookie, but apparently, i`m not. I don`t know what`s going on right now. I feel like I should know since I`m learning from my past, but I still don`t know what to do. I wish that God could just tell me exactly what to do. Every moment I stop & think, I think about how I got into this situation. Why is my heart telling me one thing, but my brain is telling me something else? What is the right thing to do? I don`t like wishing & hoping because I know eventually I`ll be disappointed. I know enough from experience that hoping is not for me. Hope has always brought me disappointment & heartbreak and that`s not something I want anymore. Promises means nothing to me because they are something someone makes up to get your hopes up so that one day it might happen, but when it doesn`t happen, you get heartbroken. I`m not being pessimistic or anything, it`s just something I`ve experienced. But now, i`m stuck in this rut where I don`t know what to do or what`s going to happen. It`s not like I`ve ever always known for certain what to do, but in times like these I just feel like breaking down, crying & praying to God. The only promises I can take in are God`s because I know He loves me. I am reminded of that every time I look at my left wrist. He loves me more than I can ever imagine & because of that, I am grateful to Him. No matter where I go, I know I am not alone. Even though I feel like I don`t know what to do or where to go, I still have the comfort that God is always with me. Even when I couldn`t get over my heartbreaks or when I was completely lost, wandering the endless road of sadness, God was always there & is still always there. It was because of Him that I was able to get over my heartbreaks. I know that He will help me now too, but I wish I wasn`t stuck like this. I hate knowing that I might have to give something up to gain another & I don`t want to hurt or lose anyone. If only I can escape..If only I didn`t have to think about this. Why is it that ultimately, I will still get hurt? It`s funny because I just got over this & just when I thought I was finally going to be free & happier, I end up in this situation again, only to find that it was only the beginning of the storm. It definitely didn`t get easier, it got much more complicated. Now I`m torn & I don`t know what to do or how to feel about this. If only you didn`t cross my path..If only things continued to be invisible..If only I didn`t have to worry..If only things could be simple again. If only...


...I only wish for things to be simple, but that`s the irony.

STUCK

I can`t get this song outta my head :]


it`s so cute...now i want to bake cupcakes :]

FINALLY

It`s finally out! I love it :]
Wedding Dress - Taeyang

I love how at 3:21-3:35 & 4:25, he included the "typical" piano wedding march in there. Instead of the wedding march being happy, it made the song sad. Good flow. & as always, his dancing is very smooth, but his outfit reminds me of Neyo. Not a bad thing though. Overall, good MV :]

NEW!

Big Bang - Let Me Hear Your Voice

"the latest MV from BB, the opening song for a Japanese drama “Ohitorisama.”
what do you think?"

via http://bigbangkorean.wordpress.com/



I really like this song from Big Bang. It makes me want to go to the beach & run through a meadow. lols :] Japanese also flows well with their voices & I love this song because it makes me feel mellow & at ease. Along with this song, I`ve been listening to a lot of MC Mong. His songs are so catchy & easy on the ears, but he has always be an AMAZING artist, one of my favorites, & I love his songs :]

TWIN NIGHT

(Refresh the page if you don`t see the pictures)

I made my little and I a sweatshirt that said "Biggie" & "Little." For our line, I made t-shirts that said "Original" in the front and "Hotline" in the bottom right hand corner.

Pictures are from:
[ ] Twin Night
[ ] 10/19 General Meeting
[ ] Revealing

ALIVE!!!!

"AFTER 3 DAYS OF BEING DEAD, MY LAPTOP IS REALLY ALIVE!!!! Thank God!!!"

I told Sharon the WHOLE story about how it happened & this is how it went:

sushistarlove is available (2:23:22 AM)

Unfailinq Love: MY COMPUTER WORKS!

Unfailinq Love: IT`S A MIRACLE

sushi star love: whattt

sushi star love: YAY

sushi star love: but now dont you need to cancel the order???

Unfailinq Love: NO

Unfailinq Love: I NEVER ORDERED IT

Unfailinq Love: i went home thinking i should charge my ipod

Unfailinq Love: and then i didnt want to go to the desktop to charge it

Unfailinq Love: and i remembered that on sunday

Unfailinq Love: my screen was blank

sushi star love: oo

Unfailinq Love: but my cooler for my laptop was still on

sushi star love: i thought you ordered it at my house

Unfailinq Love: so i thought if i pressed the turn on button a few times

Unfailinq Love: it would still have a blank screen but at least i would get to charge my itouch

Unfailinq Love: and then

Unfailinq Love: first i pressed it a few times and it didnt work

Unfailinq Love: but i knew it had to cause it happened before

sushi star love: mhmm

Unfailinq Love: and there was no harm in trying

sushi star love: yea

Unfailinq Love: so i pressed a few more times and i started to hear my fan turning on

Unfailinq Love: but it wasnt for a long time

Unfailinq Love: and the screen was still blan k

Unfailinq Love: then i push the power button a few more times and i start to see the lights on my laptop come back and

Unfailinq Love: and then i pushed a few more times and i let go of my finger and my screen had words!

Unfailinq Love: OMG!

sushi star love: YAYYYY

sushi star love:

sushi star love: woot woot

Unfailinq Love: i`m so happy!!

sushi star love: well thats goood

sushi star love: you dont need to get a new one and you still got all ur stuffs

And that`s what happened. *wheew* Thank goodness I didn`t order a new one yet :] I love you lappie :]