trinity fellowship had a BBQ today & they invited new friends. it was really fun & i liked meeting new people :] the games were fun & new! good job Kary, Jessica & Nicole! after everyone left, we college kids SMASHED... oh boy.. haha. it was fun! addicting, but fun. lols
jaa ne.
i like neon pink & yellow on my nails right now :]
-- today i was trying to help my brother print his final paper out for his econ class & after we tried to get the printer to print..it didn`t print. but during the time that we waited for it to print, we had some pretty good laughs & i don`t think i`ve heard my brother laugh in a long time. it was some good kodak moments :]
btw.. did i mention that today was a LONGGG day, but i did well at the bank 3 cash max & 3 credit cards :] & Coach, we`ll let`s just say Eric & i thought the day would never end. at least we weren`t in the negatives. pheww
finally it`s FRIDAY! :] that means i`m done with my finals & i`m on summer vacation! yeh!
i haven`t seen the 0.50 cent coin & the old 1.00 coin in a longggg time. i got it at the bank cause a customer came in to exchange it for bills & i thought it was awesome, so i got 2 for my brother & myself :]
On Wednesday, all the tellers at the bank did really well so Peter gave us a red envelope with $10 in there. the cool thing about this red envelope is that it`s a POP UP! if you noticed my finger is holding up the soda can tab on the bottom picture, that`s where i pull & that`s when the doggie pops out & right in the middle is where the red envelope pops out :] it`s sooo cool!
so for our Fat Friday Escapade, Kathy & I went to eat at Pasquale`s for some italian food. mMm. then we just went back to Kathy`s house & chilled till Becca & Eric Lyo got there. yeup. we CHILLEDDD :] & it was as simple as that. i enjoyed hanging out today, even if we didn`t do too much cause i don`t get to hang out much anymore & now, i don`t take it for granted & i LOVEEE it :]
till next time.
Jaa ne
じゃあね
(see you)
i finished watching Hana Yori Dango 1 & 2 already :] it was pretty good. as always, i`m sad that the drama has ended, but i`m excited cause Hana Yori Dango Final is coming out this summer & so is the special episode for Hana Kimi. i also want to watch the Kurosagi movie that came out in last month :] haha. i think i might watch My Girl next cause Lee Jun Ki is in there & i heard it was good. i might watch Coffee Prince after that, but we`ll see. lols.
but back to Hana Yori Dango, i really liked Oguri Shun as Hanazawa Rui. he`s a good actor for the character & he portrayed the coolness & intelligence of the character really perfectly. i felt bad for his character though cause he didn't end up with Makino Tsukushi. plus, i think the lanyard on his phone in the drama was from Coach cause i saw the silver square & the black handles. if i`m not wrong about the lanyard, then we have the same one. lols.
anyways.. i need to take my IBUS final online. ewww :P at least i don`t have school tmr.. only work :]
HOORAYY!
btw.. it`s really windy outside.
i just finished watching HANA KIMI on tuesday :] it was a good drama, but it was kind of short. i`m anticipating the one special episode that's coming out soon i hope. the drama`s actually about this girl who dresses up like a guy to go to an all guys' school because she`s on a mission to help her idol. yeh. it`s complicated, but it`s easier to get when you watch it :]
now.. i`m working on HANA YORI DANGO 1 & 2 :]
-- sometimes the simplest things bring happiness to my day.
.. like a phone call.
it`s nice to be reminded that there`s always SOMEONE who always wants to make me LAUGH :]
thanks for calling! :]
"if you just realized what i just realized then.."
--Realize, Colbie Caillat
-- it`s hard being humble. it`s even hard to forgive & forget. & it`s extremely hard for me to let down my pride & forgive someone for disappointing me.. but it`s okay now. forgiving is a learning process & i`m slowly realizing that holding a grudge isn`t going to help me in anyway.
no matter how much or how long i try to hold onto the grudge, i`ll eventually let it go. & the thing about holding grudges is that you can`t progress further into anything if you don`t let it go. so basically, you`ll be stuck at that stage until you forgive & let it go. nothing can grow from grudges & i`m slowly learning to understand that.
yes it`s very hard to accept the disappointment & ignoring the problem is not going to help because if the other person doesn`t know what they did wrong, they won`t know you`re holding a grudge. & ignoring the person isn`t the answer because that will never get you anywhere.
one day, i`ll be able to confront people with my problems & i won`t take the short way out by holding a grudge..
[...]
one day, it will all be okay :]
[X] stage ONE: forgive -- .CHECK.
[A PASSING MOMENT]
don`t you hate it when things aren`t going your way & you feel like you`re a FAILURE?
yeh. i feel like that. i feel like that all the time, especially right now. this past week has been a pretty hard week on me & i still can`t get over blaming myself & putting myself down. it seems like i haven`t been able to do anything right. i can`t balance school. i can`t balance work. i can`t balance church. i can`t balance family. i can`t balance friends.
basically.. i`m a failure.
i can`t do anything right. i`m a terrible friend. a terrible person. & i suck at the things i do, or rather yet, can`t do. i`m always so arrogant & stuck up. i always feel as though i know what i`m doing & that i won`t mess up. i`m so ignorant.
the funny thing is.. i`m the one to blame for all the things that has happened to me this past week.
this entire week was like a continuous cycle of put downs & failings. just when i thought that things couldn`t possibly get any worst, it gets worst the next day & the days after that. i haven`t felt this way since the 8th grade. i want to give up on everything that i`m doing because i feel as though i can`t do anything right anymore & nothing is going my way either. i just feels as if my whole life is coming apart & unraveling. it wasn`t until Saturday that i was finally fed up. i was ready to give up. i was ready to give up everything, quit my jobs & quit everything i was doing.. but as i was thinking about quitting, i was also on my way to fellowship. the entire time i was at fellowship, it wasn`t until singspiration, when we were singing our songs did i realize how pathetic i was. how stupid i was. i was almost on the verge of tears because i couldn`t handle my life. with starbucks coffee in one hand & the hot coffee sliding down my throat, i was trying to comfort myself, but it didn`t work. of course, when Kurtis asked what was going on with all of us, i told my short story, but it didn`t make things better because i still felt lame & pathetic. nothing that night was going my way. even when i went to watch a movie with Linda, Kathy, & Eric, i was still distracted.
it`s so funny because i didn`t realize what was going on until Linda, Kathy & i went to eat dinner before the movie. i realized that my prayers were finally being answered. God had heard my prayers & He was answering them. i got everything i asked for in my prayer...
my prayer was for God to break me & remake me. i wanted Him to take me apart & put me back into Him. i prayed this prayer before because i was lost in my spiritual life. i had lost my way & i couldn`t find my way back to God.. instead, i wandered into another road & did things my own way. i lost sight of God`s plan for me & decided to be the author in this story.. i became ignorant, arrogant, prideful, & selfish. i had lost myself & i couldn`t find my way back so i prayed & ask God to take me back. i wanted Him to break away all the things that made me so ugly help me humble myself back to Him & His plans for me.
yeh.. that`s what i realized this weekend. i`m failure, but God uses my failures & turns them into successes.. although i can`t see the successes yet, i don`t think i`m going to give up yet. i`m not ready & i don`t think that`s what God would want me to do. no matter how terrible things get.. no matter how stupid & worthless i am, i`ll try not to give up. i won`t give up, not when there`s someone who still hears me & cares for me. someone who is going to be there to continue to push me & answer my prayers & cries.
[...]
failure & disappointment is always a part of my life & i don`t think i can get rid of it. even if you disappoint me, it`s not your fault, it`s mine. even if you hurt me, it`s not your fault, it`s mine. & even if you don`t see me for the way i am, it`s not your fault, it`s mine.
i`m going to start my week fresh :] so please pray for me.
