ENDLESS

[random babbling]


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i don`t think i`ll ever stop thinking back to "those" times. you know what i`m talking about, right? "those" times in your life that you can`t stop thinking about, especially when it automatically pops back into your head & it makes you go "oh yeh..*sigh*" yeup. "those" times.

people say things get better with time, but i don`t know..for me, it gets harder.. i honestly thought i would`ve let "this" go a long time ago, but apparently, it`s still registered as something in my life. stupid because this is what`s keeping me up tonight. there are so many "what ifs" to think about. "what if this" or "what if that".

with a quick few seconds, a few punches on the keyboard & a click, things can change so much. i could either get accepted or rejected. still, there are so much endless possibilities. what if i didn`t send the letter, what would happen? this kind of endless thinking is possibly the reason why i have been so restless lately. with nothing better to do than think & read, i find myself drowning in these thoughts.

i really do want to go take a drive & visit. maybe i would bump into the person i knew. maybe things will change & get better. maybe we would be friends again. OR maybe i wouldn`t get to see the person. maybe that person wouldn`t recognize me. maybe that person will reject me & pretend to not know me. maybe that person has already forgotten & moved on.

so many questions & possibilities. some things i regret & some i guess i don`t really regret, but i`m curious to the other side of the story.. what would`ve happened?

endless thinking leads to endless nights. & endless nights doesn`t look good on my s a n i t y. lols


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Jason Mraz - Lucky.. to be in love with your best friend
Leona Lewis - and it`ll all get..Better In Time
Jordin Sparks - One Step at a Time.. there`s no need to rush
Sara Bareilles - babe i know that it`s your soul but could you.. Bottle It Up



crazy, random, splur-of-the moment, thoughts. WOW. intense. haha